Ask your parents about their first date. It most likely went something like this; your Dad called your mother and asked to take her to dinner and maybe a movie, they agreed on a time and he drove to her house and picked her up. He would pay for both activities, and if he was lucky, he might hold her hand or get a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night. Your Dad called and repeated a similar evening the next weekend, and so on. Your Dad didn't flirt with her at a bar all night and give her his number with this instructions to text him sometime. He didn't text her late at night after a couple drinks to just have idle flirty banter. He would never have only asked to see her at a bar with lots of other people with no intentions of even buying her one drink. And he most certainly didn't kiss your mother with no further intentions to act on seeing her again. Men these days are lazy, broke and egotistical. I don't know if I'm more mad at myself for playing along and pretty much just taking what I can get when I've always known in my heart it hasn't been good enough or if I'm mad at the men for being so damn douchey! So I've decided to put my foot down. I have created a new check list, you could even call it my commandments of self respect.
I will only give out my number with the instructions that I expect a call, not a text, as our first communication. The last few men I have been attracted to, flirt with me and give me the impression that things are going on the right track. By the end of the night he asks for my number and immediately calls it to make sure he had it right. Then, either later that night, or within the next day or two the texts start. "Hey this is whoever, we met the other night. How are you today." This normal conversation goes on and on for days! I know I'm a very busy person and don't always have the opportunity to talk on the phone, BUT I think if a guy is really interested he will. He will ask for the best time to call and chat. Even if that chat is basically a conversation about scheduling a date....that takes 3 minutes tops! I don't think men can even try to say that texting is easier because of fear of rejection because I already gave you my freakin' number. Obviously I'm interested! What could you possibly be nervous about? Grow up, be a man and ask me out properly. In that same respect, I can not let guys get away with NOT calling.
I will never initiate a call or text conversation. If I haven't crossed his mind naturally, I'm not going to reach out and misinterpret his response as him thinking about me. I know women are much more independent these days, and for the most part, I am one of them, but I just don't trust men anymore to be honest. Sure he got my number, sure there was flirting and maybe even some kissing, but if the only time I hear from him is after I reach out first, then I'm just REMINDING him of me. I don't want to have to remind anyone of me. I want to be important enough or at least intriguing enough to not leave his mind at all. Being forgettable is fundamentally crushing and I'm tired of setting my self up to be merely a reminder.
People who are attracted to each other go on dates, people who are using each other for physical comfort come over late after drinking. I have no intention of using or being used so I will never misinterpret coming over late to watch a movie as a real date. Now, I understand that times are a little tough these days and we might all be pinching our pennies a little more than usual and maybe a date in is really the only option. I get that, but make it special! Clean the house, cook dinner and have an activity that took planning. Not just a movie, cause you can't talk during a movie. I think "do you want to come over and watch a movie" is usually code for "wanna come over and not talk to me while I try to sleep with you."
This is fair warning boys, I'm tired of your lazy and selfish behavior and I'm pretty sure most single women will agree with me on this. Grow the hell up and treat us with respect! Say what you mean and make good on what you say. Stop playing games and just go back to the tried and true successfully method of NORMAL DATES! And women, we need to demand better. If we keep letting men slide by with this behavior they will just keep doing it. Let's put our foot down and agree to make these guys work a little harder and us hold out longer!
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